Okay, this one was long so I’m going to give you guys the bullet points.
- High school sweethearts
- He figured they’d get married
- Ended up at the same college
- Moved in together
- She got restless
- She started staying out and not telling him where she was or who she was with
- Things went to hell
- She found someone else
- Vicious breakup
- He’s devastated
Here’s the rest from his email:
Seven months have passed since then. I’m finding it hard to completely get over her. Especially now that I’ve met this girl that I really like. I haven’t spoken to another girl in such a manner in years. I don’t know how to speak to her or even let her know that I like her. It’s obvious to me and everyone I know that she likes me. But I’m just still mind fucked from my previous relationship that I don’t know how to start a new one. This girl also has a boyfriend but has been considering breaking up with him for awhile. I would appreciate it if you could give me any advice on getting over my ex. I would be grateful for advice on how to win the heart of the new girl I wish to be with. Most of all, I am thankful for your time.
You are not going to like my answer. I’m not going to tell you how to win the heart of the new girl. The new girl can go screw herself. If she’s stringing her boyfriend along while she’s chumming the waters for someone else, then she’s not for you.
Because she is your ex-girlfriend, only with a different face. And you, my friend, are the “someone else” she found while still in a committed relationship, making her boyfriend…are you ready for this…YOU as you were when your ex cheated on you and strung you along.
Are you following me?
Let me put it like this…
You are trading one unfaithful girl for another. By doing so, you are putting some poor schmuck through the same thing that just happened to you. Don’t be that guy.
I know you’re still hung up on your ex so I want you do something.
Get angry at her. Let yourself be furious at what she put you through. Let the anger burn the remnants of what you feel for her down to ash, dust yourself off and move on. Anger is a tool. It is meant to be short-lived. Let it do its job.
Then go find yourself a nice, UNATTACHED girl and start clean.
Oh so sincerely,
If you’re going through a bad break up right now, here’s some help:
What else would you say to our friend?